I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
