what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
