I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize