yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
