can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
