You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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