Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just cut my nipple shaving
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize