I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I can text with my tongue
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize