Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize