I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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