So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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