What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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