did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
