When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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