well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
