I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
