am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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