I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
