Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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