So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
What drink are we having for lunch?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
