you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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