I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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