it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
