you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Randomize
