all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
