Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize
