We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
