just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
