And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
