Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I can't turn off my feet"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
