I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
