And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
