they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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