It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
