My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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