We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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