the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
