What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
