I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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