we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
