i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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