my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
