my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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