apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
