I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
