evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
