Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
