guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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