Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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