i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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