my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
