So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I am mentally ready for anal.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
