glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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