I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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