oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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