I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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