somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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