I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
