miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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