I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize