I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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