Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
