The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
