i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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