i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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