Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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