the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
