Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
