we're blogging at a bar
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
