We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I understand Curling. That high.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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