we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
